A Lonely Walk; Minimizing Loneliness in Ministry

By Raul Rivera

"No one ever said that planting a church would be easy.  But no one ever told me that I would at times feel very lonely."  Those were the words of a desperate pastor in Philadelphia.  I want to tell you that times of loneliness are a part of leadership; and nothing will ever test your walk more than planting and leading a church.  No matter how many friends and relationships you have, by its very nature leading forces you to go down lonely roads, exploring and experiencing things unknown.  But there are some forms of loneliness that you do not have to experience.  Below are two ways to place loneliness in proper perspective.

1.     Partnership:  The Word says that a cord of three strands is not easily broken.  It also says to pity anyone who falls and has no one to help him/her up.  There is nothing like knowing someone has your back.  In ministry you need to be sure of those folks who have your back.  Here is a list of three partners every church planter must have.

Tax and foundational structure:  I know what it is like to start a church.  I also know the amount of energy and careful planning it takes to properly comply with the hundreds of legal challenges from multiple angles.  Unfortunately, the vast majority of church planters in America have absolutely no idea where to start and feel like a lamb among wolves when it comes to the legal foundation of their church.  Having a partner who has been there is very vital.  After nearly 19 years of dedication to this area, StartCHURCH feels that the Lord has strategically placed us in this time of history to partner with thousands of pastors to make sure they get this part right.  After all, a mistake in this area can have a lasting effect that will impact your ministry in its entirety.

Mentor:  When I talk about a mentor, I am referring to someone you love and respect, and someone that you are confident will have your back no matter what happens.  These are the people that love you at their cost and they are happy to do it.  I am not talking about someone you send a tithe to but rarely hear from.  In the 19 years I have been helping pastors, this is the one area most pastors wish they could do over.  They sought "fathers, mentors, or coverings," but they were always with a condition.  While there are proper contexts for those, in this article I am referring to a father in the faith that has nothing to gain for loving you, but does so, because he understands his role in life as one who has gone before you and feels a burden from the Lord to mentor those who are now in the front lines.  If you do not have someone like that in your life, please pray for the Lord to provide someone for you.  If you need someone to agree with you, please email us at support@startchurch.com.  I will take your prayer request and get with one of my personal prayer partners and together we will intercede that God will provide you a true mentor for 2013.

Prayer partners:  Every church planter and pastor needs prayer partners.  While your mentor should be one prayer partner, you also need a team of at least a few people that pray for you and your spouse daily.  They do not need to know all the details of your life; they just need to be dedicated to praying for you.  The day you decided to start a church, the enemy of your soul placed a bull's eye on you.  So what is a good strategy? Prayer partners.  They are the ones who call upon the Lord in your behalf on a daily basis to ensure you are protected and covered.

2.     Lean into loneliness:  A common response to loneliness is to dread it and run from it like it is the devil.  But I propose to you that loneliness, it its proper context, is God's plan to get you to a place of intimacy with HIM.  When you are alone, you tend to feel like you have not one friend in the world.  It is then that you ponder questions, such as the one I felt God ask me one day when I was so lonely that I actually began to believe dying would be better than living.  He simply asked,  "If I never add one more soul to your ministry, yet I promise you My presence, would I be enough for you?"  My life changed forever that day.  While loneliness is still at times a scary place, I thank God for it.

Setting up to succeed

I talk to hundreds of pastors every year during our conferences.  I get very excited to hear their many stories about how God called them to the ministry.  I would love to hear yours.  At our conferences, I will challenge your paradigm concerning ministry, leadership, and structure.  In fact, I will teach you the Ultimate Church Structure^TM and how it will revolutionize your mind and ministry forever.