Tell Me Who You Walk With
By America Kimlinger
In Mexico and across Latin America, we grow up on refranes.
These refranes (proverbs) or dichos (sayings) are foundational expressions rooted in centuries of history. They’re short, well-known, and often rhyme. To me, they always sound like a melody.
But more than that, they carry wisdom. They offer advice. They pass down moral lessons that have shaped generations.
There’s one in particular that has always stayed with me, one I repeat often to my sons:
“Dime con quién andas y te diré quién eres.”
Tell me who you walk with, and I’ll tell you who you are.
It’s simple. But it’s powerful.
In English, we say similar things. J. D. Greear has often said, “Show me your friends, and I will show you your future.” Andy Stanley puts it this way: "Your friends will determine the quality and direction of your life". Entire books have been written about this idea. Sociology confirms it, and leadership experts teach it.
But Scripture said it first:
“He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”
— Proverbs 13:20
Who you walk with shapes who you become.
A Lesson From Parenting
As a mom of two high schoolers, I see this principle in action every day.
Recently, we hosted my oldest son’s small group for a weekend: 11 junior high schoolers and 2 adult leaders, from Friday to Sunday. We have done this for a while, so we have known these kids since 6th grade, and I am so grateful for them. Their friendship, energy, and character pour into his life in ways that encourage, challenge, and help him grow.
And yes, we learned quickly that with 11 hungry kids, the food we planned for two nights lasted only a single evening. It was messy, loud, and chaotic, but also full of moments that reminded me how much influence surrounds my sons every day.
It’s a front-row seat to the truth: we don’t drift into wisdom. We grow into it by who we spend our time with. The people around us shape our thinking, our choices, and even the way we lead. For teenagers, it builds character. For adults, especially ministry leaders, it shapes our vision, decisions, and the legacy we leave behind.
What This Means for Ministry Leaders
Being a leader doesn’t exempt you from influence. Pastors, church planters, ministry founders, you are still shaped by the voices closest to you. They set the trajectory for your life, your leadership, and your ministry. For better. Or for worse.
Leadership can feel lonely. Many pastors and ministry leaders unintentionally isolate themselves. They carry pressure silently. They make decisions without trusted counsel. They absorb stress alone.
The question isn’t whether you are being influenced. It’s who is influencing you.
Do you have people around you who challenge you to grow?
Who sharpens your thinking?
Who will give you wise counsel?
Who prays with you, not just for you?
Who strengthens your resolve when leadership feels heavy?
Who celebrates your wins without competing with you?
Or are you surrounded by voices that drain, distract, or dilute the calling on your life?
Choose Your Circle Wisely
Ministry is too important.
Your calling is too sacred.
Your family is too valuable.
The people you invite into your inner circle matter. Ministry doesn’t thrive in isolation. The trajectory of your church is deeply connected to the voices guiding you spiritually, strategically, and structurally. That’s one of the reasons partnership matters so much.
At StartCHURCH, we don’t just help churches file paperwork or keep their books. We come alongside leaders who want to build wisely with clarity, accountability, and a foundation that protects the calling God has given them.
Because the people you walk with shape the ministry you build.
And how you build determines what lasts.